When Did Opinion Become Truth?

Today’s Thought: There are four very important words in life: Love, honesty, truth and respect. Without these in your life, you have nothing.

In my job I have to provide information; offer advice and sometimes draw attention to what people are doing wrong or inappropriately. It means that I unintentionally upset people because I make them face uncomfortable truths. This sometimes means I am the target for their guilt and anger online.

I guess the question I have is when did their opinions become truth or fact? They seem to think that by ranting about what has been said/told to them on their social media pages will sometimes change the facts they have been provided with into something they feel happier about. The reality is that it changes nothing. The truth is still the truth whether they like it or not. All they have done is show disrespect; projected their guilt and have avoided reality.

When did we decide that if we disagree with something and share that disagreement online, that it somehow means our disagreement/opinion becomes the fact, the truth and everyone should therefore change reality to fit in with it? Human’s use of social media as an outlet for their rage is an unfortunate habit. They seem to feel protected by the shield of the screen; surprised when the target of their wrath finds out what they wrote and defensive when challenged about the appropriateness of their actions.

It somewhat contradicts the title ‘Social Media’. It becomes ‘Anti-Social Media’. We need to change; we need to acknowledge that sometimes our anger comes from guilt, from feelings of inadequacy or fear. If we could face that truth, then perhaps social media would be more social, more collaborative and much kinder. For that to happen, though, we would need more collaboration and kindness in the real world. That’s when we will see genuine change to a gentler and more empathetic society – surely that should be our goal, that should be the prize.

Honesty Sets You Free!

Today’s Thought: The things you hide in your heart….eat you alive!

Sometimes it’s difficult to admit the truth to yourself. It can mean that you have to own up to the more unpleasant sides of your personality and in this day and age of always wanting to present our best selves to the world, it can be twice as painful!

The thing is, though, if you want to be successful and if you really want to be your best self, you need to absorb the truth about yourself – even if it’s a little distasteful!

During a time in my life when things didn’t seem to go my way, I was quick to blame others, to moan and to seek comfort from people who would agree with my point of view. I expended a great deal of energy and emotion in this pursuit of validation – did I feel better? Yes – in the short term. Did I achieve my goals? Absolutely not!

Things only began to change for me when I started to consider that all those people who I thought were being unreasonable or unkind might actually have had a point. I made a change to the way I responded to a situation one day and saw a positive result.

It’s worth considering changing your responses to situations or challenges – see what happens. It’s necessary to stop viewing yourself a victim of your circumstances – you are only a victim if you allow yourself to be one. You won’t be able to change everything as you cannot control everything – you can only control yourself and your response.

Look inside yourself; admit those things you don’t want others to know about you and pledge to change. I set myself a goal this year to be more honest and it’s changing everything. I can see the motivations of others more clearly; I can recognise my motivations and challenge them more easily and I can manage difficulties with less anxiety. This is all because rather than running from things that scare me or telling half truths to cover something up or speaking unkindly about others so that I can feel a temporary bond, I stick to the truth. I am truthful with myself and truthful with others – a simple idea really, but trickier to implement than you might think!

All I can say is it’s bringing freedom, calm and happiness that I never thought possible. Be honest and set yourselves free!

Is Your Perception Truly Reality?

Today’s Thought: The hardest person to be honest with is yourself.

We all get cross; feel frustrated or slighted when things don’t go our way. It’s easy to blame others when things go wrong and sometimes it will be someone else’s fault. Sometimes, though, we have to dig deep and realise that we have played a part in the thing that has ruined our day.

The next time something goes wrong, stop and think. What did I do? What could I have done differently? What have I learned? THEN consider what did others do? What could they have done differently? What do I HOPE they have learned? Then accept that the only person you can control in all of this is yourself!

You can dislike someone else’s behaviour or choices; if it’s criminal, you can report it and have the authorities deal with it. If it’s just plain annoying, or feels unfair then maybe it’s best to look at what you can do about it to change it into a positive experience.

Often, your first response will be to moan – but what does moaning change? Perhaps you’ll then try to seek justification or validation of your feelings by talking to several people about what has happened, how annoying it is and how unfair it feels. Again – what does this change? The very last thing we do is look at ourselves, analyse our own actions and feelings and work out what we have done that contributed to the unsatisfactory situation. Really, it would be more productive to consider these things first.

Imagine how amazing everyone would think you were if, instead of whining about how terrible everyone else is and how your situation is much worse than everyone else’s, you acknowledged how upset you were but then said what you would do differently next time and what you had learned from it. They would be so impressed by your reflectiveness; you would feel peace and the pleasure of having everyone else’s respect.

Honesty + self-reflection + lessons learned and changes made = respect earned