Feeding Dishonesty.

Today’s Thought: The worst thing about being lied to is knowing you weren’t worth the truth.

So many people tell lies – I know I have. We lie because we are fearful; fearful of consequences; fearful of losing control and sometimes because actually we are fearful that WE are not worth the truth.

When I was young, I told lies – elaborate ones! The usual ‘feeling sick’ to get out of school, yes, but also some pretty huge and complex lies that involved months of medical professionals being involved until one by one they all ‘outed’ me as a liar!

What on earth was I doing? It’s easy to forgive children for lying, because we consider them unfinished, learning how to live in the right way. Perhaps, it would be sensible to unpick what is going on for them more, though.

On reflection, I can see that my childhood lies were more than about trying to get out of school or wanting attention. It was all about fear – fear that I somehow wasn’t good enough. The lies tested how much my care givers were prepared to look after me; I was looking for affirmation that I was wanted, loved and good enough to deserve these things.

Maybe that’s what all liars are doing. So maybe today’s thought needs a partner: The worse thing about being a liar is feeling like you aren’t good enough for the truth.

Honesty can make you vulnerable; it can also bring you peace. Lying can and will cause you anxiety; it can also bring you much craved attention and love and if you are bereft of these, you are prepared to do almost anything to get it.

Having integrity is always the best path, but duplicity can be a habit. It is worth working hard to break the habit – to find the internal hush that only truthfulness can bring. Tell yourself that you ARE worth the truth – find the root of your doubt and challenge it with honesty every step of the way.

You Didn’t Start The Fire – Honestly!

Today’s Thought: At any moment you have the given power to say, ‘This is not how the story is going to end’.

Have you ever felt an emotion and have no real clue where it originated? Fear, anger, sadness, anxiety? Of course you have!

Have you ever considered, though, that the emotion didn’t start with you and maybe what you are doing is carrying around a growing holdall of other people’s feelings?

That terror you have of other people’s disapproval – look for it in your family. Who else is driven by the fear of the disapproval of others? Do they project it on to you? That rage you have when to see injustice – is it familiar with those close to you? Is it a trigger for you?

Just maybe those emotions are being passed through the generations, growing in power and complexity. You DON’T need to own them; you DO need to work through them and find their roots.

Then let go; free yourself! It honestly didn’t start with you and you can honestly end it!