Is Your Perception Truly Reality?

Today’s Thought: The hardest person to be honest with is yourself.

We all get cross; feel frustrated or slighted when things don’t go our way. It’s easy to blame others when things go wrong and sometimes it will be someone else’s fault. Sometimes, though, we have to dig deep and realise that we have played a part in the thing that has ruined our day.

The next time something goes wrong, stop and think. What did I do? What could I have done differently? What have I learned? THEN consider what did others do? What could they have done differently? What do I HOPE they have learned? Then accept that the only person you can control in all of this is yourself!

You can dislike someone else’s behaviour or choices; if it’s criminal, you can report it and have the authorities deal with it. If it’s just plain annoying, or feels unfair then maybe it’s best to look at what you can do about it to change it into a positive experience.

Often, your first response will be to moan – but what does moaning change? Perhaps you’ll then try to seek justification or validation of your feelings by talking to several people about what has happened, how annoying it is and how unfair it feels. Again – what does this change? The very last thing we do is look at ourselves, analyse our own actions and feelings and work out what we have done that contributed to the unsatisfactory situation. Really, it would be more productive to consider these things first.

Imagine how amazing everyone would think you were if, instead of whining about how terrible everyone else is and how your situation is much worse than everyone else’s, you acknowledged how upset you were but then said what you would do differently next time and what you had learned from it. They would be so impressed by your reflectiveness; you would feel peace and the pleasure of having everyone else’s respect.

Honesty + self-reflection + lessons learned and changes made = respect earned

Reasons or Excuses?

Today’s Thought: Real transformation requires real honesty. If you want to move forward, get real with yourself.

So often I have been frustrated; blamed others when I should have taken a harder look at myself.

I want to be different – I know it will make me achieve my goals, but to do that I have to take a careful look at my behaviour, choices and the triggers that set me back along my way.

Look at your barriers to success. Which ones can you do something about – even if it’s something small? Make sure that whatever you choose to do, takes you a step forward and won’t come back to bite you on the backside at a later date! If you have time to moan about something, you have time to do something positive about it! Nothing good ever comes easily, no matter what you might see on TV or on social media – it takes time and more effort than you can imagine!

Be truthful with yourself – how often are the barriers in your way put up by yourself? Is your confidence? Is it your fear of failure? Is it your dislike of the amount of effort required? Is it your fear of confrontation? Is it jealously that it looks so much easier for others? I guarantee that none of those fears and anxieties will cause you as much discomfort and dissatisfaction as not reaching your goal!

Identify your triggers: What annoys you? What makes you feel insecure? What scares you? What do you love to do? What do you hate to do? Know your triggers and make a plan as to what you will do when your triggers are pulled. Put the safety catch on before you start!

Tell yourself you can do this! Tell yourself that you are resilient! Look fear right in the eyes and tell it that you are going to do it anyway! Look at that hard work to come and celebrate, because at the end of it, you will have achieved something amazing!

Breathe! You are amazing – no matter how far you are on your journey to greatness, look over your shoulder and celebrate every tiny step. As long as you are still moving forward, it doesn’t matter how slowly you go.

If you want change, then find a way to make change happen. Make it happen with kindness, compassion and honesty and that change will lift you up further than you thought possible.

Do Right; Feel Good!

Today’s Thought: Be honest in your life. It creates positivity, stopping all unfairness through life.

Sounds so simple – but it isn’t! We all get sucked into ‘office politics’ or a desire to be liked by those around us and, sometimes, worst of all, we act in self-preservation or self-promotion rather than honestly.

It would be easy to think that such actions would only damage the other person – and that ought to be enough to put us off, but we really need to know we would be damaging ourselves as well.

Each time we utter words of frustration, dislike or mockery about others, we are really telling everyone something about ourselves – that we are not as kind as we could be and that we are two-faced. In the moment, it might feel like fun, like we are bonding with those around us as they laugh along, but they’re really just grateful you aren’t saying those things about them!

Each time we act out of jealousy or a feeling of inadequacy, we are being cruel – cruel to the other person and ourselves! Just be truthful to yourself about how you are feeling, then decide on a course of honest action that helps you to reach your goal without hurting anyone else – the achievement will be much sweeter!

Each time you act our of fear or a desire to be noticed, just stop and consider where that feeling comes from. Is it yours or does it belong to someone or somewhere in the past? Does it really take you where you need to be?

Sometimes we think we are on our path to greatness and satisfaction, but really we are just doing things to please others. In the short term, this makes us feel good but in the long term, we will feel dissatisfaction, anxiety and disappointment. To really know what we want, we must be honest with ourselves; honest with others and have the courage to forge ahead with kindness and integrity.

No matter what you think others may say – they can never criticise kindness and integrity – those qualities never hurt anyone; those qualities can always invoke pride.

Recognise Skills in Yourself!

Today’s Thought: The first step towards greatness is to be honest.

It’s so easy to be jealous or intimidated by other people’s skills and qualities. Just take a moment to reflect on yours – I guarantee that you will have some unique skill, knowledge or quality that no one else has.

Be honest with yourself – look for the evidence; listen to your friends and colleagues because they will tell you. Most of all, however, look hard at yourself, be honest and don’t be afraid to tell yourself you are good at something.

Once you are honest with yourself, you are on the path to greatness; combine that with honesty towards others and nothing can stop you!

The Ugly Truth!

Today’s Thought: The most free person in the world is the one who has nothing to hide.

Why do we say we must face the ‘ugly truth’? Even when it hurts somewhat, the truth is always beautiful. It bring harmony, comfort, trust, improvement, confidence, calm and freedom.

If we long to be free, we must be kind and honest!

Dishonour Haunts You.

Today’s Thought: If I take care of my character, my reputation will take care of itself.

Right now I think all my anxiety stems from past actions and words. Sometimes I have said things to others that I had no right to say and I worry that those words will return to haunt me when it matters the most.

Instead of trusting in my abilities, I sought comfort in others; reassurance that I was doing OK, that I was right and others were wrong. I shared too much; I wanted approval too often and now I must wait and see whether my past indiscretions will cause me humiliation.

It’s frustrating that I cannot turn back the clock; that I can’t deliver a message to my past self to protect my future self. If only I knew then what I know now: that I am holding on to the emotions of my ancestors; that I carry the guilt and fear of those long gone and that I needn’t have had such doubt in myself.

I know I must forgive myself, for I am trying to be better now, but it feels terrifying to have to accept that no matter the good I now try to do, it could be scuppered by old bad habits. I must hold today’s thought in my mind and make it stick; I must continue to nurture my commitment to honesty and integrity in my words and actions – it will be the only way to deserve a reputation I so desire; approval that would be well deserved and peace that I am desperate to experience.

Rebuild Yourself.

Today’s Thought: When you are truthful with yourself, it allows you to be truthful to everyone around you.

If you want to change, you have to be honest with yourself about what you want to change. Sometimes that means admitting that some things you do are unpleasant and you aren’t proud of them.

It takes time to change habits, whether they be bad or good. I have pledged to be honest, to speak positively about others and to have integrity in my actions. Truthfully, I am doing well…..most of the time!

My anxiety, my insecurity and my desire to control everything around me means that I still mess up. The difference now is that I am aware of messing up and can admit the way it makes me feel. That’s what motivates me to keep trying.

Honesty and integrity bring me peace and pride. It isn’t always easy, but I can certainly recommend it. Bring a sense of calm to your own life by filtering out the unkind words; re-thinking your actions and reflecting on why you are behaving the way you are. Once the discomfort is over, you will begin to fly and feel liberated.