The Ugly Truth!

Today’s Thought: The most free person in the world is the one who has nothing to hide.

Why do we say we must face the ‘ugly truth’? Even when it hurts somewhat, the truth is always beautiful. It bring harmony, comfort, trust, improvement, confidence, calm and freedom.

If we long to be free, we must be kind and honest!

Dishonour Haunts You.

Today’s Thought: If I take care of my character, my reputation will take care of itself.

Right now I think all my anxiety stems from past actions and words. Sometimes I have said things to others that I had no right to say and I worry that those words will return to haunt me when it matters the most.

Instead of trusting in my abilities, I sought comfort in others; reassurance that I was doing OK, that I was right and others were wrong. I shared too much; I wanted approval too often and now I must wait and see whether my past indiscretions will cause me humiliation.

It’s frustrating that I cannot turn back the clock; that I can’t deliver a message to my past self to protect my future self. If only I knew then what I know now: that I am holding on to the emotions of my ancestors; that I carry the guilt and fear of those long gone and that I needn’t have had such doubt in myself.

I know I must forgive myself, for I am trying to be better now, but it feels terrifying to have to accept that no matter the good I now try to do, it could be scuppered by old bad habits. I must hold today’s thought in my mind and make it stick; I must continue to nurture my commitment to honesty and integrity in my words and actions – it will be the only way to deserve a reputation I so desire; approval that would be well deserved and peace that I am desperate to experience.

Rebuild Yourself.

Today’s Thought: When you are truthful with yourself, it allows you to be truthful to everyone around you.

If you want to change, you have to be honest with yourself about what you want to change. Sometimes that means admitting that some things you do are unpleasant and you aren’t proud of them.

It takes time to change habits, whether they be bad or good. I have pledged to be honest, to speak positively about others and to have integrity in my actions. Truthfully, I am doing well…..most of the time!

My anxiety, my insecurity and my desire to control everything around me means that I still mess up. The difference now is that I am aware of messing up and can admit the way it makes me feel. That’s what motivates me to keep trying.

Honesty and integrity bring me peace and pride. It isn’t always easy, but I can certainly recommend it. Bring a sense of calm to your own life by filtering out the unkind words; re-thinking your actions and reflecting on why you are behaving the way you are. Once the discomfort is over, you will begin to fly and feel liberated.

Being You.

Today’s Thought: Have the courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.

It really does take courage to be who you really are. We spend so much of our lives living up to other people’s expectations of us. How often do we really do or say the things that we really want to. How often do we reveal who we really are?

Living up to the expectations of others creates so much anxiety; so much fear of failure and feelings of inadequacy, yet we do it without thinking most of the time.

Lately I have been questioning whether I have been making myself happy or making other people happy. I am starting to see what some of the things I have achieved in my life have been less about what makes me content and fulfilled and more about wanting to gain approval from someone else so that I feel accepted.

Developing the courage to truly be myself needs to be achieved in small steps. I need to know what really does make me feel fulfilled; how I can accept myself rather than rely on the acceptance of others; believe that I am good enough just the way I am. I am just at the start of my journey and this level of self honesty is frightening and exhilarating all at once. I feel on the edge of a new beginning – a chance to be free.

Honesty is a liberator!

Tackle Niggles With Honesty

Today’s Thought: What you deny or ignore, you delay. What accept and face, you conquer.

Over the last two weeks, people around me have been struggling. I have been irritated by their apparent lack of resilience and by people telling me what they think is wrong.

I was wrong; I should have paid attention sooner.

Sat here, trying to switch off for the weekend, I find I cannot. It’s because I haven’t faced the truth – the truth that I have missed some important signals; haven’t been available enough or proactive enough and that actually, I might be too reliant on others to fix things.

I could spend the weekend worrying and feeling guilty; I will probably spend some of the weekend doing those things. What I MUST do, however, is acknowledge the mistake; make a manageable plan to address it and move forward. Trying to rewind the past won’t help; trying to write a better future will.

Without honesty, this feeling of anxiety would have niggled non-stop. If I hadn’t faced my part in making things difficult, then I would not be in a position to improve them. It does feel uncomfortable to admit my behaviour to myself, but it’s also empowering – I can change it now. I can reset my intentions and try again!

Receiving Honesty

Today’s Thought: If it is not right, do not do it. If it is not true, do not say it.

I sometimes struggle with when to draw the line with my honesty quest. If someone asks me a question, I automatically want to give the answer. The problem is there are times when it isn’t appropriate for them to know the answer.

At other times, I share too much because I am looking for a bond; something that makes me feel connected to those around me.

This is a problem – it leads to anxiety. What if I have said too much; what if they tell someone else what I’ve said? What if I get into trouble?

It is time to add something else to my honesty quest – I must add a thicker layer of integrity. It’s no good being honest in my words, if my actions are duplicitous. It’s no good building trust if what I do undermines it.

Truthful words + pure actions = calm and happiness.

An Honest Transformation

Today’s Thought: Honesty saves everyone’s time.

Just think how much time we would save if we politely asked for what we wanted or told people the things that would help them most! Instead, however, we tell ourselves it’s rude to ask for what we want and worry that we will cause upset to people if we tell them the truth about an area of their life that might need work.

It is so ingrained within some of us to side step facts or avoid confrontation that we can spend weeks worrying, whining and becoming increasingly irritated. Maybe we should think about how unkind we are being to both ourselves and the other person we are withholding the truth from.

At the moment, I am trying to grow my courage in terms of saying what needs to be said. It’s essential to do this if I am going to be able to help people and do what is in their best interests. It is so hard, though, because of the varying reactions I can encounter. I am scared of confrontation; scared of being shouted at and scared of falling apart in front of others.

All of this baggage, that probably doesn’t originate with me, but with others in my family, can be such a blocker to success at times. Honesty is helping in the battle. This is because as long as I am being truthful, I can take manage any outcome. With honesty, the anxiety lessens because even if the other person is angry, they cannot dispute what I have said. If the intentions within my heart are good, even if the other person becomes upset, I know that they will be able to move on in the right direction.

Honesty saves time; lessens the length of distress and allows the brightness to return sooner. We just need to make it a habit.