Honestly Found Wanting

Today’s Thought: Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.

For the past five years, I have been fighting to prove myself in a job I am starting to think isn’t right for me. I have been through denial: ‘I am absolutely right for this; I will show them all!’; I have been through delusion: ‘Things seem to be going well, maybe I am good at this after all.’ when actually, it’s been going well because other people have been doing their jobs well and right now, I think I am entering a period of acceptance: ‘I’m a good person, but maybe this role is just not the one for me.’

I don’t like this feeling; I am blue. However, I have also run out of fight – it is no longer within me to prove myself. I have no idea what I am going to do – I’m not even sure what I am capable of doing any more as my skill set feels quite narrow and my financial responsibilities are not going to disappear any time soon. I know that I must find some way to be happy, though. This job is not the way; being so hell bent on proving myself is not the way. Accepting who I am, embracing it and finding the role that fits me is the way.

In the words of Brene Brown, I need to: ‘Let go of who you think you are supposed to be and be who you are.’

Be honest with yourself – are you trying to be someone you aren’t rather than embracing who you are? For true happiness, let’s start looking for ways to celebrate the person we are. Carl Jung said, ‘we cannot change anything unless we accept it’. Maybe what we need to accept is that we are trying to be someone we aren’t – let’s change that and see what happens!

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