Finding The Honest Root.

Today’s Thought: It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.

Since this superior has come into my life, I feel as though I have been catapulted into a murky soup of confusion and fear. I feel as though I am on the outside looking in; weird; unacceptable; stupid; as though my soul is to be consumed and overpowered.

This week these feelings have led me to make the wrong decision, simply because I feared the superior’s opinion of me. My fear and the subsequent decision impacted negatively on another person and rebounded back to me as it rightly should have done. I cannot let this happen again; it is the opposite to the honest existence I crave.

Where did this all begin? All these sensations and feelings are old – they feel older than I and as if they don’t all belong to me. I recently read that who you want to be is who you truly are. I want to be free, creative, happy and caring, yet when I experience people who resurrect these violent emotions in me, I am frequently terrified, stunted, anxious and cut myself off from others.

To remove the power this superior has over me, I have to identify where these feelings originate. I have to heal and find peace.

It is time to use my honesty quest to look deeper inside; look further back and find the root cause of my fears and anxieties. If I can do this, then I will be able to remove the negative influence this person has over me and re-discover my inner-confidence.

This week’s mantra will be: ‘be who you are and want to be!’

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