Fighting Fear with Honesty

Today’s Thought: I will have the moral courage to make my actions consistent with my knowledge of right and wrong.

The past two weeks I have been living in my lizard brain. I have allowed it to hijack me and infiltrate my thoughts and generate my feelings. It is sickeningly exhausting and I have resolved to stop it.

I now have a superior who scares me. Why is this? It’s because I am terrified she will expose me as a fraud; that she will see I am incapable of doing my job; that she will confirm what I fear most – I am a failure.

How am I going to change my thought pattern? I am stuck with this superior, so I have to find a way not to just live with them, but to thrive with them; I must find a way to believe in myself and my capabilities and I need to be as honest with myself as I am trying to be with others.

I am going to make a list of hard evidence that proves I am good at my job and then a list of the areas I need to improve in order to feel really confident at my job. I am going to use this list when working with my superior – if I feel it’s an area that I am competent in, then I am going to make sure I have the evidence to prove it to hand; if it’s an area I am fearful that I lack the skills with knowledge for, I am going to ask for advice and support.

For others to believe in me, I need to do so first. Honestly, it’s a tough ask – I rely on others for reassurance so much that it is going to be deeply uncomfortable to change, but change it I must.

My honesty journey is now taking me to unchartered territory – I must be positively honest with myself.

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