Seeking Honesty

Today’s Thought: Trust starts with truth and ends with truth.

When reflecting on what helps me to feel less anxious and calm in general, I know that it is being assured I have access to the truth, whatever that truth may be.

Being unsure that you are being told the truth or knowing that you aren’t telling the truth lets the anxiety dogs out to run wild!

If you want to feel inner peace, tell the truth – especially when it is most difficult. Obviously there are times when it can be kinder to tell a tiny fib – ‘no your hair doesn’t look greasy today’ or ‘What spot? I can’t see one!’. Just make sure that when the truth counts, you tell it.

If you want to feel that all around you is real, ask for evidence that what you are told is true; surround yourself with trustworthy individuals who you are confident only share necessary truths and ensure your create conditions where people can be honest with you without fear of recriminations.

Be true, be kind, be calm!

Be Honest About Fear

Today’s Thought: Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision.

This week I felt fear build following a difficult interaction with a client. They were furious with us and had planted a seed of doubt in my mind about whether we had covered all our bases when dealing with them.

I sat with the feeling of anxiety and uncertainty for a minute or two, then had a flash of realisation. I didn’t need to. There were things I could do to reassure myself and check our actions. As soon as I decided to follow that path of investigation, the fear seemed to shrink and shrivel.

Next time the fear creeps is. Explore where the feeling is coming from then ask yourself what you can do about it. Is there a way to check facts? Is there someone you can seek guidance from? Is there corrective action you need to take? This way you control the fear and it no longer controls you.

It will swell within you from time to time, but you have the power to diminish it, to put it back in its place. Fear: False expectations/evidence appearing real. Check the honesty in a situation and you will quieten the fear.

Honest Magic

Today’s Thought: Something magical happens when you’re completely honest with yourself. When that happens, no one can ever hurt you again.

I think this is true. If we aren’t honest with ourselves about why we are hurt; what has hurt us and how we are truly feeling, then we cannot start to heal. If we can’t heal, we can’t move forward and we will continue to hurt.

Look deep; identify the pain and be completely true to yourself about where the pain comes from. It will be uncomfortable and distressing, but you will then be able to find the antidote.

To begin with you will find the shame or anxiety or fear or anger is heightened and you will wonder why you ever started to pick away it it. Have courage. You are not alone and needn’t be alone. There are lots of helpers out there. Find yours and share your pain with them so your healing can begin.

You can get better. Never, ever give up, for you are loved; you are wanted; you are important and you are strong.

Honest Discovery

Today’s Thought: Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous or honest.

I can feel a change happening within me; it’s the beginning of a shift in courage and it is giving me the power to see things differently.

I have started to realise that I might be braver than I think! I haven’t turned into Winnie The Pooh, but I really believe that he might have been absolutely right with his wise words.

This week I wanted to do something at work and I needed to seek the permission of someone superior to do it. As I explained my idea to them, knowing that I was exuding the excitement I felt for the project, I could see fear form a shadow across their face! They weren’t excited; they were terrified. Terrified of everything that could go wrong and this is where their thoughts about the project remained. I was advised that it might be better the scale my idea down and keep it small and safe.

To begin with I accepted this, although disappointed, and just sat comfortably with the thought that I had obviously scared them with my courageous idea! This was enough for me. However, word of my idea reached another colleague, who spoke to my superior and said that they thought my idea was a good one and with some adaptations there was no reason we couldn’t go ahead!

This moment, along with others over the past few weeks where I have forced myself to do the things I am passionate about, that I feel are right for the organisation I am responsible for, are showing me that when I have the courage to be true to myself and therefore honest with those around me, things are more successful.

For this to happen, I have to keep my fear of judgement in check, my anxiety about making mistakes in check and give courage a chance. It’s thrilling and motivating and quite possibly addictive! It’s important, now, that I don’t allow this growing courage to become arrogance. Having courage doesn’t mean I will always win through; it doesn’t mean that I have nothing left to learn and will always be right. What it does mean, though, is that I can be truly honest with myself and those around me and I can be happy at the end of each day that I have lived well and done good things.

An honest life brings peace; it’s worth fighting for.

Honesty: Protection From Karma!

Today’s Thought: A clear conscience is far more valuable than money.

This week I realised that I had made a mistake at work. It was a genuine mistake, but it affected someone else greatly. As soon as I realised what I had done, I felt that stab of panic: ‘Oh no! This is my fault! What can I do? I don’t want to have messed this up for that person!’

For about a minute, I sat at my desk, penning a short email to the person who had reminded me of what I was meant to have done (the thing I had forgotten all about)! I initially thought I could write a half truth, claiming that I had only remembered to do part of it. Maybe saying that would enable the person impacted by my mistake to be less affected. I wrote the email and immediately deleted it. I wrote it again; I deleted it again. Something was telling me that this wasn’t the way to deal with this situation – an invisible Jiminy Cricket whispering in my ear!

I took a deep breath and went to find the person who was about to feel the impact of my mistake and asked to speak to them. I told them what I had forgotten to do and apologised and told them what I needed to do to put it right. I could see they were upset, but they didn’t shout at me and, just as important, I wasn’t sweating with the pressure of a half truth being told (and nor had my nose grown Pinocchio style)! Despite being genuinely sorry and embarrassed about my mistake, I felt confident in the conversation I was having.

As soon as I had finished confessing, I emailed the colleague who had pointed out my mistake and owned up to them as well. They didn’t admonish me, they simply asked me to keep them updated.

I was honest and the sky didn’t fall in, no one shouted and the problem was solved far sooner than if I had chosen to take the dishonest path.

Honesty – a magical and powerful character trait to calm anxiety and solve problems!

Honestly From The Heart

Today’s Thought: Kindness in words creates confidence; kindness in thinking creates profoundness and kindness in giving creates love.

Recently I have been having Reiki to help me manage my anxiety. It has had a powerful effect. I know I want to live my life without fear and full of love. This is the mantra I have held in my heart this week and it has made me feel more powerful than I ever have done previously.

I aim to approach all challenges with love and kindness. If I hold true to my values, I should be able to let go of fear. I might not be triumphant in all my endeavours, but I will be victorious in living a life of honesty, kindness and love and this will mean that I will have nothing to blame myself for if things don’t go according to plan.

In the past week I have been consciously making sure I am kinder than usual and sending out more love than usual. As a result, I feel more successful, more confident and more content than I have done before. Seeing the appreciation of my team; the change in their physical demeanour and experiencing the positive vibes throughout my organisation has demonstrated the impact that focusing my efforts in these areas have made.

Conscious kindness.

Conscious love.

It’s transformative; it’s powerful and it calms anxiety and creates happiness.

Imagine what could happen if all of us practiced conscious kindness and conscious love! Go on – I dare you!

Honesty For Transformation

Today’s Thought: Real transformation requires real honesty. If you want to move forward – get real with yourself!

I have taken a break recently – it’s been healthy and has helped me to see how much I absorb the emotions, fears and anger of other people and that doing so can seriously affect the way I feel and behave. It has led me to the realisation that I need to reset my honesty goals and remind myself of the person I want to be.

I want to be:

  • Kind
  • Helpful to others
  • Creative
  • Fun
  • Successful in the goals I set myself
  • Honest with myself and others
  • Have integrity in my actions
  • Trustworthy
  • Consistent

Because I have allowed the feelings of others to leak into my mind and body, I have not always met the expectations I have of myself. It’s time to be honest with myself about this; time to put my barriers against other people’s negativity back up and time to check in with myself to make sure that I live my core values every day. These will make me happy.

What kind of person do you want to be? What are your core values and do you live by them every day? Any time you are doubting yourself, check in with these questions. If you can answer them honestly, you can either absolve yourself of any guilt or calm anxiety that problems are caused by you, or you can identify areas of yourself you need to work on.

Honesty with one’s self will support happiness and reduce anxiety!